Taking stock: August 2015.

Who knew that time really does fly when you're the epitome of "a busy working mum"? It's been a hectic two months balancing being back in my office and keeping up appearances at home. It was unsettlingly easy to slide right back into my job. Those 15 months I spent at home in my happy pants, eating chocolate, cookies and cake and drinking tea, now seem like just one or two weeks away. Crazy.

It often feels like I'm leading a double life now: old neat, well-presented, professional working me and new slightly dishevelled, disorganised, trackie-wearing mum me. But little things at work remind me of who I really am. Usually slightly disgusting little things, like snot streaks on my work skirts and food smears on my shoulders that I hide with scarves.

Outside work (and sometimes at work), I've been planning our Christmas holiday in Europe and Hong Kong, avoiding making any decisions about what to do now I've finished my herbal medicine degree, and unsuccessfully trying to convince Little Red she can eat food other than fruit, pureed vegetables and rice crackers. 

I've also been daydreaming about how I can convince my boy to head back to Port Douglas. I unexpectedly fell in love with the place during our week there in June (possibly something to do with the divine tropical fruits Little Red and I gorged on).

In other taking stock news, I've been...

• Making: Excuses for not getting off my butt and sorting out my career (or much of anything else to be fair). 
• Cooking: Lots of stews and soups and stoups (my hearty stew and soup combo), and hommus, frittata, bean burgers, rice balls and zucchini fritters for Little Red (unlikely she’ll eat any of it other than the hommus, though). 
• Drinking: Green tea, dandy chai, mimosa chai, and lots of water with vitamin C powder (I’m trapped in a house of sickies). 
• Reading: Song of songs – I'm not really convinced so far. I finally finished Buddhism for mothers a couple of weeks ago. It may just be a coincidence, but I was very, very irritable while reading it. I clearly need to work on this enlightened, peace, love and mung bean business. Next up is Buddhism for mothers of young children. Wish me (and my boy) luck! 
• Wanting: Chocolate. Tea. And world peace... In no particular order. Although, perhaps with more tea and chocolate, there would be more peace in the world? It’s certainly helps to keep the peace in my house. (I feel like I’ve made this joke before, but it’s clearly still highly relevant.) 
• Looking: At a gorgeous green and red parrot that’s visiting me on the deck, chirping away. I think it’s a King parrot. 
• Playing: Tunnels. Little Red happily runs around the house using a walker. She likes to run through your legs, like going through a tunnel. And she rams into you (hard) if you don’t let her through. 
• Deciding: Where to stay in Stuttgart and Hong Kong. 
• Wishing: I had more money to indulge my love for travel and renovations. 
• Enjoying: A dandy chai. 
• Waiting: For the repairman to come to fix our wall heater. It’s been playing up for a couple of weeks and finally went to God last Thursday. 
• Liking: The hint of spring we’ve had the past few days. Although I’m a confirmed winter girl, a bit of sunshine does wonders for the soul. 
• Wondering: How I’ll fare on my first interstate adventure without Little Red this week. (I’m off to Brisvegas for the Australasian Medical Writers’ conference.) 
• Loving: The new raw vegan chocolate I found at the Eltham Art and Craft market. It’s called Raw Integrity and I’m addicted to the cinnamon/chai flavour. 
• Pondering: How it is that marriage and/or kids are often the breaking points for couples. This week I heard that a couple who married around the same time that we did have called it quits. 
• Considering: Lots of different options for lots of different things. (Including going back inside so my fingers can thaw out.) 
• Buying: A plastic guard to stop Little Red gnawing the side of her cot. When we get her out of bed these days, she’s often sporting a very fetching black paint chip mo. I’m sure it’s completely sanitary and not at all toxic. 
• Watching:
 The TV show Have you been paying attention? I also just finished watching all 16 episodes of Outlander series one. I am totally addicted to that show. If only we could squeeze in a Highlands tour on our European Christmas soujourn, I’d be in heaven. Pity it’d be about minus 100 and my boy wouldn’t stop complaining about the cold the entire time, which would kind of take the joy out of it (no matter how many hot toddies I had drunk). 
• Hoping: It snows at Christmas in England – it’d be the first White Christmas for my boy and Little Red. 
• Marvelling: At people who know what they want to do, have always known what they want to do, and do it. That and people who manage to regularly post blogs and have a life. 
• Cringing: At old high school photos of me and students in my year 12 level that keep getting posted on a Facebook group I’m in. Wow. It’s safe to say I was no fashionista back then (or now, truth be told). To be fair though, none of us looked like we were. 
• Needing: Gloves and another cup of tea to keep me warm out here. 
• Questioning: What’s more important to me (us) at the moment: financial stability and income, or doing something that makes my heart sing and mind excited (and whether or not these things are exclusive). 
• Smelling: dandy chai (or the dregs of it). 
• Wearing: black jeans smeared with hommus, snot and chocolate (only the chocolate was mine), my Hooter’s t-shirt from our honeymoon stopover in LA, a grey hoodie and a big, soft, green blanket from Nepal. Please see ‘Cringing’ above – I am no fashionista. 
• Following: The trail of ants permanently in my kitchen. I’m not sure where they’re coming from or going to, but they just keep on going. (I don’t have the heart to commit mass murder and they don’t eat all that much.) 
• Noticing: How much happier everyone is when the sun is out. 
• Knowing: What I really should be doing with my time, but not actually doing it. 
• Thinking: I probably should start getting organized for the conference this week. I'm actually really excited about going to it. 
• Admiring: Mums (and dads) with more than one child. Especially twins. Or triplets. How do they do it… and stay sane? They deserve a medal. 
• Sorting: Out some kind of savings and investment plan for us. Not really my forte (or my boy’s) but I’m working on it. My boy would argue the first step is no more overseas holidays, but where's the fun in that? 
• Getting: Excited about spending Christmas with my brother and his family in the middle of nowhere in England, seeing my mum’s side of the family over there and introducing them to Little Red, indulging in glühwein and other Weinachtmarkt delights in Stuttgart, and exploring Hong Kong and watching the fireworks over the harbour there on New Years’ Eve (if I’m still awake). Travel keeps me sane and so very, very, very happy. 
• Bookmarking: A lovely new meditation from Ian White (Australian Bush Flower essences). 
• Coveting: Early morning walks/jogs. I used to go every morning before Little Red and I miss it. It’s a great way to start the day. Sometimes when I open the curtains in the morning, through the window I see the people I used to chat with, still up and out at 6.30am on their regular strolls. How I long to be out there again. 
• Disliking: That I don’t know more about investing. 
• Opening: The letter from our new sponsor child, Puja. Turns out Laxmi and her family left the region, so we couldn’t sponsor them anymore. Puja has taken her place and we’re more than happy to have her. 
• Giggling: See ‘Watching’. Have you been paying attention? I laugh so hard I cry and my belly hurts – and that never normally happens to me. It’s awesome. We all need more of that. 
• Feeling: A bit blah. It’s tough with a house full of sickies, with lots to do and plan and organise, plus working again. The large glass and a half of red wine I had last night didn’t help (but tasted divine). 
• Snacking: Did I mention chocolate? And these delicious chocolately slicey and biscuity treats from Edes & Bibi. I tell my boy I buy them for Little Red, but I really buy them for me (and sometime share them with her). 
• Helping: Little Red walk – it’s pretty fun holding her hand while she totters along beside me. She hasn’t quite mastered tottering along by herself yet, but isn’t far off it. 
• Hearing: Birds chirping and cooing. Traffic in the distance. The wind rustling the leaves on the trees, and the dried onion stems from the garden on the deck beside me (I really need to tidy up).